Bad Navigator
Today (this actually has been sitting on my draft for 2 months, so basically it’s not ‘today’ but whatever I’ll just make it ‘today’ because it sounds better than ‘two months ago’), I have this realization. I’m bad at navigating. And by that, I mean not only bad at looking for direction to a certain place, but also bad at looking for direction in life.
I don’t know how many times I’ve lost my way. Although I already have a guide in my hand, but I still get lost anyway.
I have no idea where to go, or what I should do.
Many people are motivating each other to set and aim for a big goal. They keep telling us to be successful, that we have to achieve this and that, telling us to not waste our time and keep working hard so we can reach a higher place. Dream big they say.
But, the thing is, do we really need to do that?
Do I really need to go somewhere? Do I really have to go higher?
What if I only want to stay? What if I only want to live freely, live an ordinary life without having any ambition about anything, without having any specific goals…
What if I just wanna live an average life, doing my everyday chores where I go to work but not working hard, just working normally, and still have time to enjoy myself, without having to stress or worry about anything because I don’t set any expectations and I set my goal at a medium level not at the higher one.
No way you don’t have any dreams or goals.
Well, yes I do have it. But, now, it just as simple as to have a lot of time to enjoy whatever I wanna do, like playing with my cats or to watch some movies or series or to eat noodles.
Do you feel happy? No.
So you feel unhappy? No.
Then why do you wanna live with uncertain feelings like that?
Because I feel enough. I’m not happy nor unhappy, I just feel enough.
Living like this is enough for me. And who knows maybe that ‘enough’ feeling would lead me to happiness.
But, is it okay if I wanna live like this? Do I sound selfish? Do I sound like belittling life?
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